I've dropped bombs. Said things from dark places that can't be unsaid, not that I want to un-say anything. Those dark places that we all have are full of rage and hurt and everything but reason. Nothing makes sense there until you pull it out and look at it - and still that takes time. Nothing there gets better until you pull it out and look at it - it takes longer to fix than it does to understand. I miss the life no one's ever had, the fantasy that I could live without having all the dark and twisty bits, and just enjoy life. Not too much thinking about anything, feeling healthy, doing what I want, being happy, having a family, having enough, and creating. But I don't think anyone lives that life. Who doesn't have worries? Aches? Not enough of something? I've been feeling for a while that I need a whole life change. New routines. New job. New house. New everything for life with my husband. I'm stuck in the Grand Canyon of ruts and wish I could be transported far far away to a brand new life - leaving everything behind.
I have no answers. I'm wandering lost ... I assume everyone else is too.
RSS Feed