Obstacles

You know what's hard?  Change.  Understanding habits.  Accepting anything other than complacent laziness.  That's the clever bit.  Complacency.  I find it easy to be the take-charge type of woman in so many aspects of my life, but health isn't one of them.  When it comes to my own health, I'm complacent.  Sure, I'll complain here and there, but do I DO anything about it?  meh.  Motivation is evasive, especially when I'm busy.  And I somehow always manage to be busy.  Maybe I'm allergic to down-time, maybe I subconsciously don't want down-time for whatever reason.  Either way, it's been about a week of "I don't care."  I'd be a little daft if I thought hormones didn't play a role in this.  I get crazy cravings for sweet and/or salty carbs every month ... I can only imagine how insane I'll be with cravings when I'm pregnant because it's pretty bad when I'm not pregnant.  And as much as I love carrots, they're not cake or popcorn or Kit Kats.  I also find myself trying to fight off what feels like the beginning of a cold, so the desire to be in the kitchen cooking delicious and healthy meals is nil.  We had pizza last night and I didn't care that it was everything that I shouldn't be eating.  I even tried to have some Chipotle over the weekend, but I didn't like it.  I barely ate half, so maybe that's something positive.  Maybe my taste buds are breaking up with Chipotle.  That'd be nice.  Then there was the chocolate truffles, butter chicken, naan, starbucks, cake pops ... it was a hedonistic weekend.  I know I've been "bad" this week.  I also know I don't really care.  I feel guilty about all the bad food choices and not caring about them.  But I also know that this isn't me giving up.  The long term goal isn't flushed down the toilet, it's just been on hold. 

I'm hoping I have energy when I get home from work and voting to make some zucchini and carrot "fries" that my sweetie sent me a recipe for yesterday.  They look yummy - basically just sticks of the veg, coated lightly in olive oil, and then seasoned to your liking, roast at 425 for about 20-30 minutes and Bob's your uncle.  If the veg turns out exceptionally yummy, I'll share the details.